you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
