He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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