talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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