IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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