I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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