My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize