one two three fourrrrnication!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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