so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
