i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
