From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize