was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
