We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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