i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
