I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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