The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
