I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
