So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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