In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
