I think im going to throw up on grandma
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You are the jesus of drinking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
