question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
