There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When did we convert life to cartoon?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
