I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
