i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
