so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
