Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
