he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
