God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
