Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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