it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
