You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
