you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
