Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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