No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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