Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Be still, my beating vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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