im drinking this country out of the recession.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
