He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize