I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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