like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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