its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
