I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
