Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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