i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
