The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
