ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
soo... how was my night?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
