you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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