remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
