You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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