I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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