She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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