How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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