Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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