I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
