I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
