yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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