Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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