I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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