Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
