this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
