If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
