I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
