He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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