He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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