sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
