Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
