YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
did i just pee glitter
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize