stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
