Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have feelings that need drinking.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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