Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
