how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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