Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
