i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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