I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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